Saturday, January 5

A change that means so much

So it's Day 3 without a helper in my household. I SURVIVED!

Almost all my life, I had the luxury of having a helper in my family. My late grandmother was staying with us so having a helper in the house was a must. Of course, I had my fair share of looking after her when my parents got a divorced and we moved to my godmother's place and for a couple of months, I looked after my grandmother. Back then, I was young and hot-headed so I never found that patience in me. Looking back, I wished I had done more for my old lady. 

I did look after my little girl twice, without helper for a couple of months. Again, I never really found that much patience in me plus my little girl was at that age with no communication skills. I had always worked so I never really wanted to change that. Selfish, as it may seem, but hey.. who's to judge? I'm not afraid to admit. Everyone has that little selfish trait in them. 

Before 2012 came to the last chapter, I made a life-changing decision to quit my job and stay home. To some of you, it's no biggie. To me, it was THE MOST difficult decision because I love my job. However, at the same time, I love my family too. Within 72 hours, I made the decision to stop working and be a mom. A full-time mom. A job with no off-days, no CPF, no bonus, no medical benefits, NO NOTHING. It seemed like a whole new world! So I asked Sophia if she would like me to stay home with her everyday and without hesitation, she said YES!! I knew it was time for me to tone myself down and really be a mother. 

For the last three days, I've been sending Sophia to school & picked her up, cook, clean, wash and everything a helper does and also, be a mother. I follow a routine I drew up at the back of my head and being an organised person, I made sure I follow my routine. (I'll do an entry soon on my typical day as a mother!) I'm tired, it's the truth. But being with my little one and making sure she's eating right, behaving right and enjoying her time with me just made all the exhaustion all worthwhile. Sitting with my little one and hearing her telling me she loves me (at random times) makes that one change means so much to her and I could feel it. 

I know I've made the right decision. 

Of course, I've some to sacrifice. Me time, time with friends, my job and being able to just walk out of the house to run errands.. these are some sacrifices I had to make. Sometimes, you just have to lose some to gain more. (LOL!) Cliche?

At the end of the day, making sure the house is clean & the child is clean,full & happy will be all that matters (as of now, that is..) Mom always tells me that I'm not the only one in the world going through this. I'm thinking if Bestie can do this, I can do this too! She has two kids to handle as a matter of fact!

Thank you SMB community mothers who gave me their advices and encouragements.. 

Thank you Mom for your love & encouragement. 

Thank you Ah-Ma for always telling me that I can do great things IF I WANT TO. 

Thank you Hubby for the support in my decision. It's gonna be tough being separated from you but I know it's all for the best interest of our family. 

Thank you bestie KY for your encouragement, possible scenario reminders and love for me!

Thank you Pauline for the fact that you met me and talked to me when I needed you for your thoughts on the big change.

Thank you Sis for that faith you have in me that I can be a good mom.

Thank you God.

It may seem like I made a big deal out of this change. Trust me, if you were in my position, you would have reacted the same way as I did. It is not as easy as it seems.

It's been a good first week of 2013. 


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