Tuesday, March 26

Coping without my other half / LDMProject #3

FAQ: How do you cope with everything now that your hubby works overseas? 

First & foremost, I wanna thank all my readers from all over the world (even my SMB mommas) and some even take the time to write me encouraging emails. I'm extremely grateful. In this entry, I will answer this FAQ as well as continuing my series of the LDMProject. In any case, you can read posts 1 & 2 <- . 

I'm not an expert in dealing with emotions because I'm an emotional person. However, after dealing with my long distance marriage with R in the last two months, I've come to a conclusion on how I actually dealt with it.

Again, I can't stress this enough that only with acceptance where you will find the courage to move on. We're happily married, very much in love, want the best for our future with our children and we don't want to solely depend on the much annoyed Retirement Scheme our government has graciously set aside for us (because it's useless) when we grow old so now is the time to work (that) hard. Plus, only upon accepting the situation & arrangement, we will be able lead life in a positive mindset.

** Support
This has to be from genuine support from friends and especially family. I'm a lucky girl to have that. This support has to come from the heart, not lip service. People need to understand why we made such decisions, not because we want more money, it's stability for future. 

** Focus
R is focused on earning the dough for the family so therefore I have to be focus in looking after our family. Inject joy and positivity into our roles as parents and a couple and we will be able to fulfil our duties. 

** Find activities to keep me occupied
Instead of wallowing in self-pity at home and getting frustrated over nothing, I started reading all over again and of course, blogging. I plan out what I'm gonna do the next day the previous night so I won't mess my day up. I'm an organised person so I feel more assured of myself when I pre-plan. So have someone to watch your little one if you need and take that 2-hour coffee break. If no one can look after your kid, bring your kid along for tea and bond with them. Buy yourself a self-help / motivational book to give you that strength. It's nothing embarrassing. 

** Have faith & trust
I have faith in God and I trust R. As a wife, I pray for my husband's safety, health and overall well-being, now that he's so far away from all of us. I trust R that he won't step out of line because one of the reasons I love my man so much is that he doesn't have a roving eye. 

So far with all the above, I'm on the right track and feeling all better. Of course, I miss my hubby and so does all at home. It's not easy to be on my own bringing up our little one especially being a daddy's girl.

#3 - The tinge of sadness when you have the "wish-you-were-here" moments.

It's okay to feel sad from time to time, as long as you have your checklist with you to be on the right track. It takes alot of work to be strong. It takes courage. Don't be embarrassed to share your feelings with someone during these moments. Everyone has the right to share their emotions. If one can share happiness, why one can't share sadness? It's not about being pitiful, needy or seeking attention. It's to release that little pain. Don't keep your emotions under lock and key. It won't be healthy for the mind and body. Even if you sweat out your unhappiness through exercise, it will eventually back fire. My psychology lecturer always remind us that we have to keep our mind clear to have a healthy body. It's mind over body. 

| Take-home Message |

As much as I can give my advices here on my blog, I'm human afterall and I have my meltdowns too and just know that it's okay to be all emo-nemo over whatever you're going through. Seeking attention the wrong way will backfire. Always know that things happen for a reason. Look for that reason and you will look at the situation in a different light. Again, don't be afraid to share how you feel. You have every right to do that. 

I wish you luck.

from The Momma

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