Tuesday, May 14

Ashley's Affirmation #7 : 5 Survival Tips as a SAHM.

Hello my lovelies, how was Mother's Day? I hope all of you yummy mommies out there, everywhere, had a wonderful memorable Mother's Day with your beautiful family! I had a very simple family affair at home with my loved ones and watching "Ah-Boys to Men 2" to end the wonderful night. 

So I've been reading alot of mom bloggers' blogs from all over the world, not just the local moms or SMB mom community and it's interesting how other SAHMs, FTWMs and WAHMs  juggle with work, family and social life. I've heard many moms, even the ones older than I am, complain about how worthless they feel being a SAHM or a FTWM, or how they can't find time to be a mom and work from home. Familiar?

I started staying at home this year and I must say, it wasn't easy for a start. I felt very disorganised and I had no clue what to do next. I know how to cook and do chores but I never needed to lift my finger to do anything because I had domestic helpers almost all my life. Not because my mom wanted one for luxury sake, it was for my late grandmother so conveniently, all my ex-helpers did the chores. So when I had to juggle chores with looking after my little active bub, I was dying. I even had a major meltdown ! But over time, I watched, read and heard how other moms out there, deal with what they called "a reality smacked into your face", they embraced the course of events and dealt with meltdowns the positive way. I looked at my day-to-day "must-dos" and "can-do-laters", I realised that it boils down to what we called "Tips to Surviving Motherhood as a Stay-At-Home Moms". Now I have my own tips that I want to share. Most of you will feel, oh well, they are common sense tips. To other moms, it may not be common sense. I'm not saying other moms are dumb but sometimes they may not realised that it can work out if they do it the right way. 

#1 : Plan ahead. (FYI: it doesn't have to be for chores. It can be planning for anything)

Why plan when you don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow? It's true you won't know what's gonna happen but if you plan little things as according to how much time you have in hand, you can actually multi-task your chores and save time. Have a board in your kitchen, write down your must-dos. If you have 5 main chores to do, make sure you try to finish 4 out of the 5. It starts from the most important to the least important. Don't give yourself the excuse of "everything is important so which is first?". Of course everything is important. Do the laundry first since no one is home (if your child is a preschooler) or vacuum.. I try to plan the night before but if there are changes the next day, my main chores (vacuum/mop/laundry) must be done first. My home is small so the vacuum/mop chores can be done in less than an hour. By the way, as I do my chores, I plan what to write for my blog in my head! 

#2 : Don't procrastinate.

You have to force yourself to follow through a routine that works for your household and you. Don't procrastinate and say, "oh, I can do that later". That chore WON'T BE DONE. I've gone through the procrastination phase and trust me ladies, it backfired big time. Whether you're a procrastinator or not, when it comes to chores, everyone procrastinates, unless you're a domestic helper because you won't have a chance in the world to use the phrase "do it later". Work the chores like a pro because you only feel most energized in the morning and that's the best time to do important chores. Take it like a morning exercise and sweat it out. 

#3 : Have a routine.

I'm a routine person. I follow by my daily routines and eventhough the timing of chores can change from day-to-day, it's pretty much the same chores every single day. Except I don't wash the bathroom every single day. Usually, Monday is my "wash-the-bathroom" day but it may change over the week if I have more important things to do. Stick to a routine that works for u.

#4 : You're in control.

When you are taking care of the household, you're in control. You should not let anyone, even your mom, to tell you what to do. Concerns may be voiced out. In my case, mom always says that I push myself over the limit with the chores and it's ok if I take a "lazy-day-off". I did think to myself, why not? I have chronic rhinitis and recently developed eczema in my right foot. On top of that, my daughter has history of eczema and bronchitis. To prevent these, my environment has to be clean. Of cos, it will never be 100% dust/germs free but at least I minimize the damage. But if I take a lazy-day-off, what's gonna happen? I'm not a worrywart, I just prefer to stick to doing the right things. Even though I'm a clean and organised freak, I have my lazy days; days where I just wanna sit and watch my sitcoms ALL DAY LONG. I admit.. I sneak extra rest time. Basically, if you want things done the right way, do it yourself.

#5 : Don't forget YOU.

Being a SAHM doesn't mean you should look frumpy and haggard. Basic pampering like making sure u eat well, drink enough water to get rid of toxins and enough rest are equally important. You may have more than one kid so it's not as easy to juggle things/situations in the household.  Ur kids need a rest in the noon time so take that time to drink a cup of hot green tea. Then, keep the tea bag for a facial scrub later on! Just tear open the bag, take out all the green mushy stuff inside, pour the soaked leaves into a bowl, add a tablespoon of pure honey, stir and apply it onto your face. See? DIY facial. Save money, save time. Give yourself a fixed time to rest for the day. For me, by 8pm, my kitchen is closed. I spend time with my family by then, watch TV or whatsoever. I will look around my house and feel super contented that not only I keep my environment clean for my family, I fed them with food cooked with love. My day is complete. I head to bed by 1030pm and I wake up at 645am the next day.

The day then continues.

| Take-Home Message |

Having said all these, don't compare yourselves to other moms out there. Their life is different, eventhough we are all mothers. Don't feel worthless just because you're staying at home. Don't feel that being a SAHM means you're house-bound for the worst. One can be a FTWM and still fulfils duties of a SAHM. Don't ever once let anyone tell you that you're making a right or wrong choice by staying at home. So what if you're a Ph.D graduate and you stay home to look after your kids? A mother's job is the most meaningful job one can ever hold. Unless you have no choice but to leave your child to someone else's care, it's best to take care of your child on your own. Just make sure you plan well, and enjoy the process of being a stay-at-home mom to your beautiful kids.



  1. Hey Ashley,
    What a timely post! I am a new SAHM and my week has been crazy. I wasn't much of a routine person but since the baby I realized it is necessary for mine and baby's sanity. Oh and thanks for the teabag scrub tip, I love all natural DIY stuff for beauty and household solutions.

  2. Hi Michelle! Thank you for such a lovely comment. I'm glad my post could give u the heads up as a new SAHM. It's a wonderful experience, enjoy every moment, good and the not-so-good! Have a fab weekend!




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