Sunday, May 26

To Worry or Not To Worry?

An ex-student's mom has been texting me lately and she was sharing with me about how worried she is about her teenage daughter. I taught her two years ago, the year she sat for PSLE and today, in Secondary Two, she's going through this transitional phase where she starts to keep things to herself, not performing well at school, angry at everyone who cares for her and all that jazz. 

Holy Moly Bageezus.

Recalling my secondary school days, I was just like my ex-student. Let's call her AL. 

As I was texting AL's mom, gazillion things went through my head. I start recalling my past as a student. I put myself back into that period of time and thought to myself, man, my mom would have been in the same position as AL's mom, isn't it? The only good thing was I had good communication with my mom then and to be very honest, I'm never academically fabulous. I was only good in Language and Sciences.. never in Humanities, Math and Art. Teachers never really liked me, so all I wanted was to hang out with my friends. Was my mom worried then? 

Yes. For sure.

Now, I put myself in a position of a mom. Have I started to get worried about Sophia? Yes. Not academically, but health-wise and emotions. Her total well-being to be exact. Will I be worried about her academics later on? Yes, of course. In this "first-world" society, our children will be the one who will be having their sets of problems to handle. 

As parents, we never stop worrying, regardless of age. But to what extend? Do we drown them with all the love that they will be so reliant on us or do we guide them with love that even if they fall, all they need to do is dust themselves and stand up again? What about tough love? Is that an option?

It seems easy to advise AL's mom on different ways of helping her daughter. I put myself in  AL's mom's position and imagine Sophia is AL. Then I asked myself, what will I do to help my daughter? I advised her accordingly. I hope it will work because, it's not exactly right to interfere too much because every household has their way of handling their children.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter at what age your child is, you will worry for them. Your child can be 3, 10, 19, 25, 35, 45 or even at 60 years old - we, as mothers will definitely be worried at some point. 

How do we let it go? How do we let it be? 

When will we let it go?

Will we ever let go?

To AL's mom (I know you do read my blog),

I don't know how much I've helped you with regards to AL's current situation. Even though AL's not my daughter, I see her like my little sister. I saw my past in her. Of course, she's definitely more well-behaved than I was. AL's in a phase that almost every one will go through. Peer pressure, emo-nemo moments and being the "angry girl" are just a few to name. We have to thank the Lord that she didn't do anything too drastic to herself or give up on herself. As for her studies, she has to be the one who wants to strive, we are just the spectators. We have to keep encouraging her until she gets it. It can take 1 week, 1 month, 6 months or even 1 year. As she grow older, she will look at things at a different perspective and hopefully, with the grace of God, she will change for the better. I'm still a friend and even though I'm no longer teaching AL, she will always be that student that I will always remember. Let's all pray for her and hope she understands all that you're doing now, in due time. Don't give up ok?


1 comment :

  1. Think mums worry all the time. My mum worries about me and I'm past 30! But sometimes I think that worry should not pass onto the adult daughter or son, if not then the children will be making decisions to stop their mums from worrying, and this then creates a lot of stress for the kids.




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